Not even halfway.

I heard it said once, in referring to motherhood, that the days are long but the years are short.  For some reason I can relate at the moment; we’re suddenly screaming towards the end of January when it seems the new year turned over just yesterday, and while my days feel long I know this season of rest will come to an end soon and I’m desperate to wring out every moment of goodness and joy I possibly can.

Last week I celebrated another trip around the sun exactly as it should be celebrated; with cinnamon rolls and chocolate cake and dear friends and a review of the 37^th tour that made my eyes leak in appreciation and gratefulness.  Several months in the previous twelve had too many highlights to choose just one.  I visited eleven different states and eight different countries, made a zillion new friends, spent time with friends and family, learned a whole lot, and ask myself on a regular basis how is this my life. Never would I have guessed as a child this is how my days would spend themselves. I love it.

A family member of mine is celebrating her 100^th birthday this week. It’s astounding to me, to think about what she’s seen and done and experienced and she’s still got a lot left in her.  It got me thinking.  What will the world be like when I’m 100? I was chatting about this to a friend last week and he said you’re not even halfway through your life and think about what you’ve seen… and I love that thought.  Not even halfway.  I don’t think much about dying, as I’m far more interested in living life to the full, but I have always expected to die young-ish… I mean, I’m an adventurer and my day-to-day is often riskier than average and it’s not morbid or weird, I don’t think, and not something to fear.  But it was interesting to consider that I might not even be halfway through my sojourn on earth. 

And you know what? God himself could stand before me and proclaim I have only three more days left on this planet, or sixty-three years, or anything in between, and it would change nothing about how I spend my days, live my life, or decide my next steps. Nothing.

I have no regrets, my life is not incomplete in any way; I keep short accounts and don’t withhold apologies, I am wise with money but not stingy, I seek to serve and love and breathe life and be light and whether I’m almost finished or really just starting I wouldn’t change a thing. And I’m so grateful.  And I think it’s an important question that we all should be asking, if tomorrow was your last day or you knew you’d make it to 100, would it change anything about the way you’re living? 

I know I have a tremendous amount of favor on my life. I don’t understand why, it’s really unfair; when much of the world grapples with why do bad things happen to good people I find myself constantly asking the opposite, why do such wonderful things happen to such a completely unworthy person?  In these early days of my 38^th trip around the sun, I’m so, so grateful for the people and the places and the experiences that have filled these days and years and I’m so, so excited to see what’s around the next corner.

Thank you, dear ones.  From the depths.  May what is to come unfold for all of us in beautiful ways, beyond what we could ask or even imagine.

 

I love the beach.