Looking forward.

I see articles come through on my news feed that discuss the need children have of play.  Kids today are stressed out and in desperate need of letting loose on the playground or elsewhere. Play therapy is an important component to mental healthcare, and that time to be free from burdens, stress, and expectations is critical to their health and overall wellbeing.

It’s the same for adults, we just don’t let ourselves do it.  Sometimes we can unplug from the machine for a few weeks of vacation a year, but how many are still looking at emails, never really free from the burden of expectations, stresses, and the neverending grind?

This last two months, since leaving Harvard, I really felt strongly I was not to start applying for jobs.  Completely counterintuitive, my normal driven self might have balked a bit at the thought; but it’s been such a wonderful gift – my own version of play therapy. 

The last eight years I’ve lived overseas and navigated the challenges of Africa, of saying goodbye all.the.time, of brief visits home crammed full of fundraising speeches and donor meetings and family time… of an incredibly all-consuming job (that I loved) in challenging environments, while simultaneously earning my Masters degree…. Then I moved my life to a completely new city and jumped in with both feet, not taking the break that all mission organizations advise you to take after being in the field as long as I have… and then the universe and the divine gave me what I wasn’t able to give myself: play time.

I’ve loved this gift of time and friends and experiences and joys.  I’ve traveled to DC, to Seattle, to Florida and to Minnesota; I’ve visited historic places and checked off activities on my Boston Bucket list; I finished my thesis, giving it the time and energy it truly deserved and I’m so proud of the end result; I’ve spent time with dear friends and family, enjoying life to the full without the stress of work and ought tos and shoulds  in the background.  What an incredible gift it’s been and I’m so deeply grateful to everyone who has helped make it happen.   

Now we’re in January and I feel the shift I knew was coming; it’s time to look forward. It will come as no surprise to anyone, but I’m heading back to Africa.  I’m not sure exactly when or in what capacity yet; those things are in the process of being determined, but it’s where my heart is, where my longings and passions and skills and abilities and experience all collide best into the greatest version of myself that I long to offer in service to others and to God.  I’ve been approached by a few organizations and I’m approaching a few others, and am so grateful to have the time I have right now to make the best decision, not grasping on to the first thing that comes along, but really asking questions and praying and exploring and evaluating what will be the next right thing.

Once decisions are made and offers accepted and moving boxes packed and all that other good stuff that is to come, life returns to the crazy once again, which I love and am looking forward to. But in the meantime, I’m going to spend as much time as possible with friends; a few more people to see across the country, dear souls who have supported me through so much, and once I say goodbye again I know it will be for a long time.  I’m going to keep working my way through the Boston Bucket List, play in the snow, see movies and say yes to adventures.  Knowing this time will come to an end makes it all the more special; I’m so incredibly grateful, happy, honored, and excited to see what unfolds in the coming weeks and months.