“The best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry…”
It’s a paraphrase from a Scottish poem. (more info here) And also a dangling comment made by a few different people in different conversations recently as I have been navigating a difficult few days. (“the best laid plans….)
It’s true. They do.
My job is planning. And then executing those plans. In the next four weeks I am running trainings for almost three hundred people in Antananarivo, organizing the logistical details for that and the sixteen different people coming and going to make them happen (I am the consistent one)… follow up visits in five different cities, a few important governmental and partnership meetings thrown in for good measure, discussing and planning for next field service and writing reports for the current one. Oh, and not flunking out of graduate school.
It’s always like this at the end of the field service but this year it seems a bit more… insane, I guess. I’m carrying more responsibility and I’m a detailed planner (when necessary) so to manage all this had settled details and paperwork and supplies and organization well in advance…
Which is great until those best laid plans go awry. Which they have.
And it makes me realize a few things. (again.)
No matter how much control I think I have? I don’t. People need to leave unexpectedly and others fall ill and things get turned in (three weeks) late and all of that is out of my hands. And then we throw in flight changes and some more team changes and a cyclone heading our direction and I almost start laughing from the absurdity of it.
The absurdity of my belief that if I work hard enough, things will be perfect.
I’m also laughing because the alternative is ugly crying, and let’s face it, laughing is just a better option.
So I’m adding “secure for sail” to my to-do list, in case Fantala really starts wreaking havoc and the ship has to ride it out at sea. It’s just a real hassle, since we have to cancel surgery and evacuate patients and it would really be great if Fantala would just turn around. So if you are the praying type, please pray for that.
|from http://www.hurricanezone.net/#19s, with my colorful labels!|
And I’m releasing what control I think I have into the universe, focusing on what is in front of me, trusting that none of this is a surprise to the Creator of it all. Thank you, friends and family, for your support, encouragement, pep talks and love. I’ll take every bit I can get at the moment.