Tuesday, May 10, 2016

He knows.


Not three minutes after I posted my last blog, I went up to Sunday night service here on the ship, and the subject of the evening was persevering through tiredness, difficulties, the end of things, the final sprint.  My facebook feed was filled with encouraging words and virtual hugs; just exactly what my heart needed to keep moving forward through the messy, bloody, painful last few miles of this marathon.

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When I got my grad school schedule for the year and planned it all out, I was supposed to have started this current module in the beginning of April and continued through until the beginning of July; my next one-week off break not until July 3.  I had thought to plan a getaway that weekend over the summer, so when I got the actual schedule just a few weeks ago I was really bummed to find out I won’t get that break in July – but, I get a break starting 18 of May for a week and a half.   Now, I am desperate for and extremely happy about the break coming in just a week’s time, where I can focus all my energy on finishing this field service still sane, and not have the constant worry of grad school weighing on my shoulders.

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This morning, when I was really struggling to find the energy to get out of bed after yet another night of anxious restlessness, I got an email from one of the highest level surgeons up in Tana, with some photos showing their team using the Checklist.  He was a bit resistant to implementation as quickly as we were pushing for; to hear, with no prompting, that his team is using it proudly and ensuring safer surgical experiences for all their patients was just exactly the encouragement I needed to get up and face another day.

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Throughout this last two days I’ve had packed in several meetings, our annual thank-you reception on board the ship for our local and governmental partners, quite a long to-do list and also needed time to do school work, sleep, laundry, and pack again as I fly out tomorrow morning for more follow-up trips.  It was going to be tight and I was dreading it.  How would I get it all done?  And then, as it turns out, I was able to finish so much more than anticipated; time seem expanded, my team pulled through and got stuff done for me, meetings proceeded smoothly and the thank-you reception even got finished early! 

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He knows.

That is the beauty of trust in the creator of all things; of this organization, of all the places I’m visiting and the people I get to meet and work with and encourage and empower to greater things, of my own story and the stress I am feeling and the anxiety that keeps me up at night. 

He knows.  And He hasn’t brought me all this way, all the way here, to abandon me.  

This I know for sure. 

So I head out again tomorrow, on this giant impossible mission that is happening right before my eyes; the mission to bring hope and healing in places there is none, to shine light into the darkness, to pursue hope and truth and life to the full.


May it be so – in them, and in me. 

Flying over Madagascar, somewhere between Antananarivo and Maintirano last week.

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