Sunday, October 5, 2014

This heart of mine.

It’s late evening on Sunday night in Madagascar.  I took the advice of several friends and colleagues and didn’t ‘work’ much today… but it was hard.  Not because I feel burdened or stressed – quite the opposite in fact.  I’m so passionate and there is so much joy in me to do that which I have been called, I can’t wait to get back to it!

So I’m sitting here reflecting on where the last year and a half has brought me.  A year and a half ago, I turned down this job.  More than once.  I didn’t think it was for me, it wasn’t what I was called to do, and really, if I was honest, I didn’t really care about the health care systems in Africa.  Or really the people that much.  I felt I had been called to serve the crew of the Africa Mercy and I loved it… and that was it.  Period.  So when I was asked to consider this position I said no.  Then I said okay I’d consider it but really, in my head and my heart, I thought there is no way.   I said God would have to change my heart, in a huge way… and I didn’t think he would.

Well, he did.

And here I sit, giddy with anticipation, my heart beating with passion and excitement and love for the people I get to work with this week.  The incredible men and women who give of themselves every day, in a filthy environment with no supplies because they were created in the image of a God who heals and serves, so they heal and serve.

And I’m just wondering how the heck God does that. How he just changes your heart.   Eighteen months ago I couldn’t have cared less and now it feels my heart will burst.  Now I can’t wait to get out there, love on people, living and walking in glory and passion and purpose and life to the full.

It’s pretty incredible, really, this heart of mine… how excited I am to get out there this week.  How much can change over a year and a lifetime.  Things that once seemed life giving no longer matter, and things that never seemed to matter now have become my very reason for breathing… And truly?  I don’t think I’ve changed… not really.  I’m not a different person than the one I was eighteen months and a lifetime ago.  I am more of myself that I ever have been.

And for that, I am speechless with gratitude.  To everyone who has spoken life and love and breathed hope and encouragement and grace into this journey – Thank you, from the depths.

Now let’s get ourselves out there.  Love, speak life, follow your heart, celebrate the fullness of joy and pursue that which makes you come alive into more of who you were created to be.

xxk

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