03 November 2013

It’s already November and I’m not quite sure how that happened; some days I wonder if I was put in a time warp where a minute is actually a second… Life is good. I’m surrounded by some of the most incredible people I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing, and I’m so honored I get to be a part of this amazing place.  I’m grateful for this family around me who encourage me to ask as well as to search for the answer to the tough questions.  It’s a safe place to expand the boundaries of my faith and trust and to heal after the painful refining process.

My work has been blessed this week – next week is our first ever Medical Leadership conference and I absolutely believe the material we are teaching to the local directors and senior medical leadership can really make a huge impact here. This week the final details fell into place in such an easy, beautiful way – several conversations where I was having to ask for something and fully expected to receive a ‘no’ actually ended with a ‘of course, no problem’ and a huge smile. 

There is so much joy and I pray every day that I might have the eyes to see and experience even more as I go throughout my day.  Ultimate Frisbee, running with Erin, coffee, the cup game, children in costumes, a walk with Kat, cherry coke and chocolate, my small group ladies, running with Dianna, beach time, pizza with Stella, Emma sitting in my lap, sleeping in, talking to my mom, deck 7 with the bsf, the creativity that comes out in me in writing a speech, photos of my sister’s baby, making coffee drinks for people, awesome roommates, a washer that’s free exactly when I need it, tea with friends… The list continues and I’m so grateful.

I’m a little sad, at the same time.  My heart has learned to adapt in this place filled with transient adventurers and restless world changers and daily airport runs, and the goodbyes usually aren’t as devastating as they were in the beginning.  The earth really is small and when people leave I either know in my heart I will see them again, or I know that I won’t, and am okay with either one.   When I say goodbye, I’m simply closing out that chapter of my life that contained them in it, and when God is writing the story, you never know what adventures or characters you’ll find on the next page.  But recently there have been a couple of unexpected departures that my heart just doesn’t know what to do with.  I didn’t have time to close out that season, that chapter in my life that they are a part of, and I am not quite sure if or when they’ll wander back through.  I’ve found myself left behind with an ache I'm not used to living with.

This is a place of hope and healing… it’s our tagline, at the bottom of our stationery and the top of our webpage.  What we do for our patients is incredible – we get to give them a new smile or gait or view of the world around them and I love that.  But hope and healing isn’t just for the patients – it’s for this incredible mess of a community that is brought together from 40 different nations for one purpose- to love.  It's for me, too.  This is life, to the full – the joy, the blessings, the grief, the hope.

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