Well it’s day whatever of the lockdown and
it’s been (not surprisingly) extended a few more weeks and overall, I'm doing really pretty alright.
The last few weeks have really been a blur;
since the stress of evacuating all volunteers and the emotional toll that took,
to renegotiating life in general and being forced to stay home, all with the backdrop
of fear and anxiety. The potential for massive civil
unrest, martial law, rampant illness and infections overwhelming and crashing
the health system, hoarding of food and supplies, and desperate people all make
for a pretty bleak outlook; wondering if I was crazy to stay here (along with
thousands of others who have chosen to stay) while watching the health and
wellbeing of America slowly deteriorate into war zone conditions in New York
and toilet paper shortages across the country.
I’ve been grieving the things we’ve lost,
as humans, and the things I’ve lost, as an individual. And I’ve been trying to
still lead my team while we’re all working at home, trying to be somewhat
productive, trying not to lose too many hours watching Netflix, waiting for all
that bad stuff to happen.
And... it hasn’t.
Here’s an article from BBC from a few days
ago about the unexpected lull we’re experiencing: BBC
Story
And while I do think there is a lack of
testing and I do think the numbers aren’t accurate, there’s also a flicker of hope
that gradually is getting stronger; maybe, just maybe, all that bad stuff just
won’t. Maybe we’ll work from home for a few months,
maybe (for sure) the economy will struggle, maybe… just maybe… the widespread chaos
and despair and destruction I’ve been waiting for won’t happen.
And instead of being consumed by the paralyzing
fear I’ve been living with for the last few weeks I’ve found myself feeling
hope again. I’m getting out of bed and
doing productive things and cleaning and baking and I’ve started doing the daily
yoga I’ve talked about doing for weeks and haven’t done. I’ve
really struggled with working and suddenly I find myself looking forward to
using my brain again and navigating this season that has the potential for so
much creativity and growth and learning and a much needed reset to launch us
into bigger and better and stronger.
And I’m looking forward to flying again, my
travel bug is getting quite antsy; to seeing family and friends and giving out
huge hugs and laughing together and feeling the joy that is exploring the world
with people I love. In the meantime, I’m working hard to be grateful for the joy
of today; for time and space that isn’t stress filled, for the smell of freshly
baked bread, for the love of my dog and for the hope of things that are yet to
come.
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| I made Challah for the first time and it turned out delicious. |
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