On figuring it out.

25 May 2019


Well here I am, a week into my new job and home and life in South Africa.  I can hardly believe a week ago I was still in DC; it seems like I have been here much longer than that.  This morning is the first morning since I flew out of my north woods hometown that I haven’t had to get up to an alarm; relishing in the leisurely enjoyment of my coffee while the sun rises into yet another beautiful day.

I’m lying on my borrowed couch listening to the fighter jets flying overhead; nothing to be concerned about, today is the presidential inauguration in Pretoria, and the whole city is putting its best foot forward.  All the streets in the area have been repainted, the sidewalks and streets cleaned, new flags strung up on every flagpole and a general sense of hope for this new government is in the air.

My couch is borrowed because my house isn’t ready yet, so I’m in temporary quarters, which is totally fine; a few less things to figure out in the first week is not a bad thing.  And that’s what’s been filling every minute of every day since starting; figuring things out, learning, trying to remember what the acronyms mean and what my role is in this or that and what exactly we are talking about anyway?

This job is so big, and my counterparts in other countries tell me it’ll be a year or two before I really feel like I know what is going on most of the time.  My driven, perfectionistic side doesn’t like that, and I’m working to silence that persistent whisper suggesting I’ve already failed or disappointed everyone because I don’t have it figured out already. Ridiculous.  But at the end of every day I know more than I did at the beginning of it, and I keep reminding myself no one is expecting the superhero I expect of myself.

And also, I’ve kept myself alive in a new place for a whole week. Let us not forget to celebrate that fact.  I’ve driven every day on the left side of the road in what feels like a backwards vehicle and I haven’t hit anyone or damaged anything.  I’ve gotten to the grocery store, I did laundry, I bought and used an iron, I made it to work on time every day without getting lost (thank you google maps), and a whole lot of other things that seem menial but can also be a big deal in a new place. Figuring out how to work the appliances, the vehicles, banking, internet, traffic circles and a zillion other things ever day isn’t a small thing.  So just know if you need a round of applause for keeping yourself alive another day, you’ll always get it from me.

Work has been one meeting, briefing, introduction, and orientation after another. I’m relieved to have a few concurrent minutes this weekend to read up on some things that need my attention but I’m still not really sure what we’re even talking about when they are brought up.  But overall, I really like it, and look forward to going back.  That’s a good sign.  I’m not only going to work this weekend, I’m also going to a market, a mall, hiking, exploring, and hopefully meet up with a friend for coffee.  The weather is gorgeous, beautifully sunny skies over cool mornings and afternoons around 70; a much more enjoyable winter than the one I just experienced in my north woods hometown.

So that’s the update for today  All well, I’m so happy to be working again and using my brain, the last several months of boredom and waiting were good in a lot of ways; but really, the best version of me is busy, slightly stressed, juggling several different things, and learning and growing and stretching and being brave and letting myself be seen every day. It seems I’m in the right place. 💜💜💜

Celebrating keeping myself alive... and South African wine is amazing. 

Seen during driving practice. This is just a couple miles away from my office! Amazing.

Snapped from my window seat as we were coming in to land at OR Tambo airport.

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